How to be a Marijuana MacGyver- JUST THE TIPS J
Ok as Canadians we often get flack for being the little brother to the North of the USA, BUT…there are a few select things that specifically define us for who we are as a country and a culture. Our weed, our hockey, our love of beer and back bacon, our laid back approach to life, and spending time in the great outdoors are all part of a Canadian culture that is distinctly our own. And with the summer upon us and everyone spending every ounce of free time enjoying Mother Nature’s wonderland we are all experiencing a very real need- a need to CAMP. Camping during these summer months is somewhat of a rite of passage for Canadians. A time for us adventure seekers to go into the wilderness with our friends and favorite strain of McChronald’s BC Bud to laugh, tell stories, and of course at some point in time- FORGET THE SHIT THAT WE ACTUALLY NEED.
Let’s be honest- we have all been there. You come in from the lake, sitting around the fire, about to whip out some new Kush you can’t wait to try in the middle of nowhere and you ask your friend to pass you the rollies, or the pipe, or anything that you have grown accustom to using to smoke your herb as an adult, and somewhere in the packing (or the drinking) it just cannot be found. Well we here at McChronalds don’t like to hear of stories of such anxiety inducing separation of man and his Mary Jane- so worry no longer because here we revive some innovative ways to get your smoke on using the stuff you will have at your camp site. Even if you have left all of the comforts of civilization- these creative alternatives will have you being the Marijuana MacGyver to save the campfire jam, and that 17th rendition of “What I’ve Got” by Sublime all the more bearable.
This teenage classic is more for those of us who have an RV as it’s a little dangerous to do this on an open fire but essentially here is the shake down:
Grab 2 butter knives- not sharper for obvious reasons. (All of these tips we have come with bearing in mind that there is alcohol around.)
Turn on an element on your camp stove, whether a Coleman element or a stationary one until it is so hot the element has the Orange Glow to it.
Place weed on end of one knife, and press down with other Knife creating smoke.
Inhale deeply and enjoy!! Here’s a little video to brush up also.
– How to hot knife video courtesy of Tyler Neuman.
THE APPLE BONG:
Ahh yes I know this takes you back to your junior high days, and although not always the cleanest smoke it certainly will get the job done in a pinch as we have learned at school, and apples seem to be a lot easier to find than papers or pipes in the forest.
You will need an apple (top stem removed to create a hole) 1 toothpick and 1 pen.
Poke a hole with the toothpick in either side of the apple that almost reaches the core.
Than from the other side, after removing the writing tip, take the shaft of the pen and twist it into the flesh of the apple intersecting the line you made with the toothpick. The twisting should remove the flesh and create a clearer smoke channel.
Put your herb into the top of the apple, light, and suck deeply through the pen hole. Case in point- see below!
Apple Bong how to video courtesy of Sativa.com
THE PINEAPPLE BONG.
Ok, ok this isn’t really an ESSENTIAL MacGyver tip, because not everyone brings pineapples to their camp out parties- BUT- if you did and you were feeling creative I would suggest watching my man Master Bong’s video link below, because pineapples are a great pipe and then a great cocktail ingredient post smoke, so it’s a one stop shop.
THE CAN PIPE.
Ok let us be honest this, this handy little device basically saved high school for a large amount of people, myself included. Since any can will work, whether beer or soda, this was the tool that allowed most of us to experience the green goddess for the first time.
Now although this is a “wilderness” survival guide, the can pipes also work for that “emergency” Sunday where your pipe has been sacrificed to the cushions of the couch and you can’t seem to find it.
Aluminum Beer or Soda Can
A pin or sharp thin object
A lighter and your weed and away you go!
Thank you Bogart for this unreal how to video.
THE GUM WRAPPER JOINT.
What??? You may be saying, but there are some joint junkies out there who would rather a difficult roll than a pipe hit, and joints are great in all social situations because they are light and easy to pass around. Plus it always feels like life could become a Grateful Dead concert at any moment when you are a “toking the Reefer.” (Or, so my Mom tells me.) Ok back to the task at hand… You’re camping, forgot your papers, kind of feel like a jerk for disappointing the gang but…you see there is a pack of gum lying around and your inner Weed Wizard- knows just what to do. And if you didn’t before click on this link to watch how you will save the day…and your friendships. :0
Thank you Diman234 for sharing with us some of your magic!
And finally…our last camp survival tip…
THE TURKEY LUNG BONG!!!!
I always laugh at this name because it really has nothing to do with Turkey’s or lungs necessarily but this little concoction is a great poor man’s substitute when nothing but a bong hit will do- no matter where you are. Here is the thangs you will need:
A 2 Liter plastic bottle
A Turkey bag (this is an oven bag, that’s called that because, well, it’s big enough to put a Turkey in it. Apparently. You can also use a large Ziploc.
Socket wrench piece
I’m not going to bore you with the step by step here (who really reads anymore anyways) lol, instead Ill direct you to my man Master Bong’s video clip where he gives you the best play by play I could find on YouTube about how to craft this ingenious little device.
Alright, you made it! That’s the last outdoor smoke survival tip of our Marijuana MacGyver Campsite Guide, because camping isn’t camping without the right green. And I’m not just talking about the treesJ Ok now get out there and enjoy your camp weekends away armed with the knowledge that, even if you didn’t bring all of your necessary weed weapons, we hear at McChronald’s believe that you have got the creativity and concentration it takes to get your smoke no matter where you are and what you brought. Why? Because we are Canadian after all- and this quite frankly- IS JUST HOW WE ROLL.